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photoblog image Another Bull Story

I promised you shall get back to Obudu Cattle Ranch in the South East Nigeria.

This Holstein Friesian is called Donald and is named after a Nigerian State Governor....This three year old bull weighs 680 kg and was born on the 6th of March 2003... (I bore you with that little fact to prove he's not Taurus..but he's hardly Pisces is he?)

SUby from Miilton Keynes, uk 9 Jul 2006, 00:54
ZZzzzzzzz, it's just a cow tongue

Barbara: Just?!!!

Matt Frederiksen from United States 9 Jul 2006, 02:51
Suby has obviouslt never been chased by a bull. Good shot but it might have been better if his head had been held up rather that down eating. but I guess I can't have everything. Next jerk his nose up by the little ring will ya.grin
Barbara: ahhh sorry you meant car...not cow

Visual Vault 9 Jul 2006, 05:52
First I would like to rebuttal Suby's comments. This is not just ANY cow, this is clearly Donald, Do you know who Donald is Suby? Really.. you should not talk about Donald that way.. "just a cow"... pshhh... Come on Suby.. Donald is THE cow... the Nigerian State Governor.. you do know where Nigeria is right? wink

Okay, so moving right along... let me move the tablet out of the way so I can type better... here we go (hi Barb! you asked for this don't forget wink )

Chapter 87 of the "Expertly Expert Photographers Photography Handbook and General Reference Guide to All Things Photographically Inclined" (412th edition, revision 4, published May 2006) describes the 'Barb Big Cow Conundrum" as follows:

The Barb Big Cow Conundrum is a common problem faced by photographer's named Barb, but may also occur with other photographers who's names can begin with any letter of the alphabet (photographers who's names begin with B however tend to experience this phenomenon most often.) To simplify, this Conundrum basically involves how to correctly photograph cows, be they live, sculpture, or in any other form. There is no true and correct way to solve this Conundrum, however based on the work of visionary photographers like Barb, we are able to provide our readers some insight into ways to minimize this Conundrum as well as how to prevent the destruction of the universe in the process. Cow's have long been know to be the hosts of a great galactic consciousness, and must be treated with great care, lest you upset them and they cast you, or all of existence into oblivion. The Galactic Cow Collective as they are known, have an innate fear of the soul stealing powers of the device we humans call a 'camera'.

Firstly, it is always correct to consult the GCCCCC (Galactic Cow Collective Central Cow Council) to request authorization before taking the picture of any cow. The GCCCCC will request that you file a form COW-69 in triplicate at least 14 business days (note: GCCCCC workers have a work week of 3 earth days, thursday through saturday, the GCCCCC permit office is only open from 7am to 9am and 4pm to 4:30pm GST (galactic standard time... roughly the same as GMT on earth, give or take a week, depending on if it's galactic light savings time or not). In addition to the required form, there is a 400,000,000 UGC (universal galactic credit) processing fee (this is roughly $0.43 American with the current exchange rates). Once this paperwork has been filed, the cow in question will be notified and a special soul retention device will be provided to him. This is often seen in the form of a large metal ring through his nostrils. It is a commonly held belief that the 'camera' draws the soul out of the cow's body via the nostrils, and that the soul is repulsed by steel, so this steel barrier is enough to force the soul back inside the cow while the soul stealing device is within range. Failure to file the correct paperwork and an attempt to steal the soul of an unauthorized cow will result in the dispatch of a BUTTER (Bovine Ultimate Totally Tactical Emergency Response) Team. However the BUTTER teams are drastically over worked and tend to take about 2 weeks to arrive on the scene of an incident, at which time everyone has moved on anyways and they spend their time chasing their tails.

The second thing you should do is politely ask the cow you wish to photograph if you may do so. They may ask to see your permit before allowing you to continue your work, however in general they will signal this by a swift charge in your direction. This is a commonly miss interpreted gesture, and is actually meant as a sign of respect and acceptance. It is recommended that you stand calmly as long as possible, and hold your permit up directly beside you, allowing it to blow in the wind. Your permit will be easily identifiable by it's bright red colour and cloth like texture. In the event that the cow approaches too closely to you in a rapid manner, it is recommended that you stand still as long as possible and move at the last second to prevent angering the cow further.

Capturing statues or sculptures of cows are exempt from the above rules, as they have no soul to steal. In these situations it is expected that all photographers refer to the "Sparklite rule of threes" (chapter 117) as well as the "Sparklite rule of diagonals" (publication pending copyright clearance, please see the next edition for more details) for additional options and methods to correctly compose your objects for a perfect photograph.

Master Photographer Promeneur has captured a stunning multi-cow image that demonstrates an alternate, more 'guerilla' style of capture for cows. This method involves shooting behind the backs of the GCCCCC to prevent the need of a permit. However it is strongly recommended that when following this method you use a telephoto lens to avoid detection as COW's will feel violated if captured in this position and may respond violently.
Barbara: May I take a shot of your brain?

Jide Alakija from Great Britain (UK) 9 Jul 2006, 10:16
You travel quite a bit. I'm very impressed! Lovely shot.
Barbara: Thanks Jide, Not really travelling much at the moment, this is from my Obudu set of pics - all taken in May.

Suby from Milton Keynes, UK 9 Jul 2006, 11:10
Nick - Visual Vault - has cracked me up with his comments above, wow wow wow, bro you definitely do have waaaaayyyyy too much time on your hands, but who is Visual Vaul, I am intrigued, soo off I goo to his site to see what he has to offer tongue

Barbara: You definitely should...or the revolution may take you by, no, no!...I don't have mad cow disease!

Vincent Lenne from United Kingdom 9 Jul 2006, 11:39
Just wish to point out I have not yet reached 'Master' status but I did adopt 'Cameleon Snipper' strategy to capture image mentioned. Had to take quick evasive action shortly after becoming an acquired target by forces of BUTTER.

Well done Barabara for adopting the legit route and capturing one of bovines' primary activity: eating. I am still chasing for a good shot of their other crucially important activity...
Barbara: You think? thats a MOOt point.

I look forward to you BEEFing up the Shutterchance archive of all things bovine.

Visual Vault 9 Jul 2006, 16:40

You can try and take a shot of my brian, but you'd have to find it first... I honestly don't know where I left it... I'm glad suby liked this entry in the Handbook, hopefully he has gone back to find the Sparklite Trinity entry as well.... I think Suby may need an entry written for him sometime in the near future wink

-V V-

latest comment
Howard 11 Jul 2006, 16:14
I was "moo'ved" by this pic.
It was "udderly" amazing.
I bet you've "herd" a lot of good things after posting this pic, but I am sure these comments only "graze" the surface.
You should really "milk" this career in cow photography for as much as you can.
Seriously, I would never "steer" you wrong.
No "bull." You could really "steak" a claim in this field.
You're one of the most talented photographer's I've ever had the pleasure of "meat-ing"
I would ask for the chance to work with you, but I am afraid I would only "butcher" your work.

must fill in
for this photo I'm in a constructive critical comments icon ShMood©
camera Canon EOS 300D DIGITAL
exposure mode
shutterspeed 1/60s
aperture f/4.0
sensitivity ISO400
focal length 25.0mm
Trumpet flower?Trumpet flower?
Nature's second greenNature's second ...
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